I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
pop tarts are not kleenex
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
MIDGETS
????
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
