I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Randomize
