the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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