i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
