You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Everyone says I win the strip club
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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