I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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