Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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