Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
