Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
