Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
