I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
cat food counts as protein by the way
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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