I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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