I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
no you cant smoke seaweed
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Randomize
