The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Randomize
