That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
