Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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