I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
He shit in the fireplace
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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