I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
