DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
