Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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