Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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