so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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