Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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