Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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