I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I'm getting married
To pizza
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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