after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
