My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Dick very happy bro
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
