so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
You pole danced in your parka.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I think people are normalizing furries
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
