Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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