Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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