Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
