i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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