he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
