i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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