Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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