I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Life without a bra equals bliss.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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