I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I had to cum in my sink.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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