Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
not ubering you a puppy
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
