You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
