No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
