the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
