There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Having a random hookup so left but love u
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
