what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
