the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
