i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
