Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
