You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
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