i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
