They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
