member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
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