Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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