I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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