Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I feel like a drive thru vagina
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
