spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
