It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Randomize
