god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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