i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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